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The Weight of Non-Existent Years

  • Feb. 27th, 2008 at 7:12 PM
Me
Title: The Weight of Non-Existent Years
Author: [info]beatrice_otter 
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Rating: G
Characters: Teal’c, Sam Carter
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Unending
Word Count: 683
Written For: [info]choc_fic Round II, February 27
Prompt: Teal'c/Sam (gen or ship): sparring - weight of non-existent years
Betaed by: </lj>[info]redbyrd_sgfic 
Remixed as: The Weight of Non-Existent Years (The Gravity Remix) by [info]butterflykiki


The day before Colonel Samantha Carter leaves for her new post in the Pegasus galaxy, Teal’c comes to her and asks if she will spar with him. She hedges for a few seconds—there are many details still to be accomplished before she may leave them, leave him—but in the end she acquiesces with a smile and slips from her chair to accompany him.

It is a familiar ritual—to him, at least. On the Odyssey, she had buried herself in science and guilt, to the exclusion of all else, including physical health. Daniel Jackson had done likewise with the Asgard cultural data. Colonel Mitchell had brooded and exercised obsessively. Vala had distracted herself by distracting Daniel Jackson. General Landry had grown a garden. Teal’c—Teal’c had taken care of Samantha even when she would not take proper care of herself.

Now, Colonel Carter does a few stretches to warm up and prepare for their match, as Teal’c does the same. She speaks of Atlantis, her new command, trivia about the scientists she will be working with. Nothing of consequence. In return, Teal’c speaks of training simulations planned for the newest batch of SGC recruits, of currents among the Jaffa now that the Ori are gone. Nothing of consequence.

On the Odyssey, they had been silent at first. Samantha, oppressed by her continued failure, had been uncharacteristically quiet. Teal’c, taciturn by nature and training, had not pressed. Until one day the words that Samantha had been burying deep inside herself exploded outwards, full of frustration and fear, and hope. And tears. They did not spar that day, nor the next. On the third day they began again, blows and words in counterpoint as in the music Samantha began to teach herself to play. They did not speak of the trivial details of their lives on Odyssey; each day was much the same. Samantha spoke of growing up as a motherless, math-focused girl on a series of military bases in the 1970’s, of attending the Air Force Academy, an institution not known for its friendliness to female cadets. In return, Teal’c spoke of Bra’tac’s training, of walking the tightrope between Apophis’ demands and his own conscience. In the fifth year he had realized, with some shock, that Samantha now knew him better than anyone in his whole life. Better than Bra’tac. Certainly better than Shaun’auc, Drey’auc, or Ishta.

Now, Colonel Carter finishes with her stretches and falls silent, signals her readiness to begin. She waits for him to strike, taking all the advantage defense buys her, biding her time before attacking. Her strength is formidable for a human woman, and her skills are the result of ten years of fighting with Earth’s greatest soldiers against the galaxy’s greatest warriors. She is still no match for Teal’c, but she does not give an inch. Her blows feel light on his skin, though he knows she is not ‘pulling her punches.’ As a human, and female, her best strength is, like the span of years allotted to her, considerably less than any other warrior he has trained in his time. Yet she makes no apologies for this fact, and uses what she has with a high degree of skill.

He has sparred with her countless times, both in the world she remembers and in the timeline that never was. Yet now he finds himself caught off-guard, under- and over-estimating her by turns. For the last few decades of their time on Odyssey, her body was too fragile and weak for serious combat; before that, years of sparring daily with him had honed her skills far beyond where they are now. He must be constantly on guard to respond to Colonel Carter as she is, not as he remembers her.

Colonel Carter lands a blow solidly, one she should not have been able to. Teal’c is almost knocked down. He counters it, forces her back, and they separate, circling. “You okay, Teal’c?” she says, frowning. “You seem a bit preoccupied.”

“I am fine, Colonel Carter,” he says, missing the woman standing in front of him.

Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
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[info]kuwdora wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
Oh this is SO poignant.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
Thanks for reviewing! I've fallen in love with tags for Unending; so much stuff can be packed in there, just flowing naturally from Teal'c's experiences.
[info]aabbey wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 02:19 am (UTC)
I love how understated this is, and yet how much it packs. Thanks for writing!
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:03 am (UTC)
Thank you--that's the effect I was going for. Teal'c is such a wonderful character, but so hard to write because everything is below the surface with him.
[info]seldear wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)
This is awesome! I love the way you've shown their relationship, particularly in the light of Unending.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
Thank you. I started watching during season seven, as season 6 was on reruns in syndication, and the thing about season six particularly is that it developed a relationship with Sam and Teal'c that I really love. I don't ship them, necessarily; my ship is firmly Sam/Jack. But I'd rather a good Teal'c and Sam fic than a Sam/Jack fic any day.
[info]skydiver119 wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
such a sweet fic.

Who woulda thunkt that TEal'c woulda ended up the Angst King of Unrequited Love :)
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:11 am (UTC)
Thank you! It's not that much of a surprise; so much of Teal'c's life has always been internal--that's what makes him so tough to write because things are going on beneath the surface that make a huge difference to him but don't necessarily make it to where any one else can see them. Perfect recipe for angst and unrequited love.
[info]livrelibre wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 03:52 am (UTC)
That's lovely. Thanks!
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:12 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing.
[info]cofax7 wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:02 am (UTC)
....oh! Oh, that's a lovely insight: all those years together, and the physical changes he witnessed and adjusted to, and all of it gone in an instant.

Very nice.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC)
I know! It's one of Teal'c's great quiet tragedies. Not the first and not the greatest, but ... still not small.
[info]lorettakay wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:29 am (UTC)
*deep sigh*

very nice. It's sad, and bittersweet.

I adore the last line. It's heartbreaking in it's simplicity, summing up, how he feels. She's there, but not. Sam, but not his Sam.

And thanks for showing how hard it maybe for him to remember all the time that's she's not who she was, or who she would have been.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Thanks for reviewing! That was exactly the mood I was going for, it's good to know I got it right. I just adore Teal'c, and that episode was made to write Teal'c tags for.
[info]sg_fignewton wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
“I am fine, Colonel Carter,” he says, missing the woman standing in front of him.

Oh, OW.

I hated Unending with the passion of a thousand burning nuns :) but the Sam and Teal'c bits did redeem it, just a little. And this was lovely and aching and marvelous.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
Unending wasn't my favorite episode, but I didn't hate it either. And it left the opportunity for such beautiful angst for Teal'c, which I absolutely love.

I'm glad this hit the spot!
[info]jedibuttercup wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 06:41 am (UTC)
That last line is definitely my favorite.

"Unending" was a huge collection of missed opportunities; I wonder if any fallout from it will appear in the straight-to-DVD movies? It was nice to see Sam and Teal'c speaking to one another again in "Midway", but I couldn't help but wonder if he cringed when she compared him closely to Ronon. Seriously, I have trouble beliving she didn't know better than that before "Unending", but she'd definitely have known him much, much better during all the years they spent together on that ship, and he must miss that.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
Teal'c is a very private person. After ten years on the same team they know each other's reactions and buttons and can read each other like a book ... but that doesn't mean that they've shared all the details of their lives prior to joining the SGC. So I find it very plausible that for a lot of situations Sam might know how Teal'c reacts but not why, not know the details of the situations that shaped him as a person in his first 90+ years of life before they met. And vice-versa. And fifty years--that's a long time, not just to get to know someone, but to watch them change.
[info]_minxy_ wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 07:48 am (UTC)
Oh my God, I *love* Unending tags.

This is lovely, the burn-through of who-she-was and who-she-isn't and what-he-knows and what-she-doesn't. The potential and the loss. The skill and the strength and still this wonderful honesty of blows: that Sam doesn't apologize, and neither does Teal'c.

Lovely. Really lovely.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
I have a decided weakness for Unending tags, myself. The fact that Teal'c has always been my favorite character, and I love Sam too ... it just works. I've been so glad that the coincidence of available schedules has meant that we got some Sam and Teal'c this season of Atlantis.

It's good to know I got the feeling I was going for. Thanks for reviewing!
[info]mayogate wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
Very good, I like Sam/Teal'c, lovely; even if the idea of them doin' it is a bit squicky on my brain.
I just lowered the tone didn't I? sorry;-)
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:29 pm (UTC)
My ship is Sam/Jack. But I love Teal'c beyond all reason.
[info]scarimor wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)
Superb :)
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
[info]abyssinia4077 wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
Oh! My prompt!

This whole piece is so lovely. I love the bond Sam and Teal'c formed and the way Teal'c sees her in canon and I love so much how you made that play out here - both caring about her as she is and missing who she was and how close he was to the woman who doesn't quite exist anymore.

And that last line is so sharp and perfect.
*squishes Teal'c*
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 04:50 am (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! The world needs more Teal'c fic, is what I always say.
[info]pellucid wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 04:10 pm (UTC)
I will never tire of Teal'c tags for "Unending," and this one is just so perfect and poignant. Oh Teal'c!!! And Sam and Teal'c is one of my favorite combos under any circumstances.

And this may be sort of an odd thing to say, but I love the title of this piece, as well!
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Well, the title came from the prompt--it just seemed perfect for the title, so I made it do double duty. I'm partial to Sam and Teal'c, myself. Thanks for reviewing!
[info]ijemanja wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
Oh! *loves* One of the greatest tragedies of SG1 ending its run is that the show cannot do justice to Teal'c post-Unending, with everything he has to deal with. And I think you've captured perfectly some of what he must be experiencing, suddenly finding himself back with these people he loves, but who are strangers. What also strike me here is how the comparison isn't a Sam who grew old, but who grew into a superior fighter. Really nice.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
We know they won't do anything with Unending in the movies--you can justify devoting one episode out of 20 to something, and you just can't justify spending one feature film out of two for that same thing, y'know? Alas. Thanks for reviewing!
[info]stargazercmc wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
This is fantastic. I love the relationship between Sam and Teal'c, and there are too few fics that explore it post-Unending.

Thank you for sharing this.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing.
[info]amathela wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
I really loved this - Unending really was made for episode tags (and particularly Teal'c episode tags), wasn't it?
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
It really was. Thanks for reviewing!
[info]momm2five wrote:
Mar. 12th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
oh, how very bittersweet. To be the only one who remembers 50 years of stuff that never happened . . . I just want to hug Teal'c!
Very well written!
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Mar. 13th, 2008 12:10 am (UTC)
I want to hug Teal'c frequently; he's one of my favorite characters. Thank you for reviewing.
[info]maab_connor wrote:
Apr. 1st, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
wow. beautifully done. i love the subtle difference between Colonel Carter and Samantha and how you let us know where Teal'c's mind had wandered by which she was. I have always felt so terrible for Teal'c, the only one who remembers the future that will never happen. :( wibble.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
That's exactly the reaction I was going for. It's nice to know I hit the mark. Thank you for reviewing!
[info]sg_fignewton wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 02:39 pm (UTC)
I've just had the immense pleasure of reccing this. :)

Sorry, messed up the coding first time!
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Cool! Thank you!
[info]lunabee34 wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, man.

*sniffles*

This is perfect.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you think so--thanks for reviewing.
[info]maychorian wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
Great stuff. Oh, you could weep for that man. He's lost so much, and gained not really all that much to make up for it. I mean, yeah, the freedom of his people (freedom to be jackasses, in many cases). But as far as relationships go... He always seems to get the short end of the stick. Sigh. And here's Sam, leaving again...
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
I don't think Teal'c would agree with you about gaining "not really all that much." He's such a self-contained and self-sufficient person; he never gives the impression of needing a romantic relationship to make him happy. Not everyone does. (I mean, he's perfectly willing to have one if there's an appropriate woman available, but that's not the same thing as going looking for it or feeling something seriously missing without one.) Friends, sure, that's a different matter ... but he's got as close friends as he could ever wish in SG-1. The only close friends we know of him having pre-SG-1 were Valar (whom Apophis ordered killed) and Bra'tac. Yes, he deeply mourns the deaths of Drey'auc and Shaun'auc, but for him it's ultimately a small price to pay for the freedom he believed would never truly be possible. He doesn't always like the way his fellow Jaffa take advantage of that freedom, but that's a tradeoff you have to make, and he understands that; he also takes a long view (fairly common for those who can expect to live for 140 years, I would expect). Yeah, the period while they're figuring out what this "freedom" thing means is pretty rough. But it's not going to last forever.

He feels loss--sometimes a lot of loss!--but he knows it's worth it.

Thank you for reviewing!
[info]aurora_novarum wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
Oh! I'm such sucker for Sam & Teal'c post-Unending...or Teal'c post unending...or just Teal'c. :-D

I love how you express the sparring, and the connections Teal'c's making, and his expectations that are so right and yet so wrong.

Poor Teal'c.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
[info]butterflykiki wrote:
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:35 am (UTC)
I really, really liked this one (see remix for proof). I loved the poignancy of Teal'c missing a person who is lost in an alternate-universe, really. But who is also going to appear slowly over time, but in a way he won't get to know in quite the way he did on the Odyssey. I loved his evaluation and understanding of Sam, and then realizing that not only is she leaving the Milky Way Galaxy, but that there's no way to get that other Sam back. *hugs him*

Just, yeah. Love it.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:53 am (UTC)
Thanks!
[info]amilyn wrote:
Jul. 28th, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
This is gorgeous. I came to read it after reading the remix and this is just...perfectly Teal'c.
[info]beatrice_otter wrote:
Jul. 28th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! There isn't enough Teal'c fic out there, but part of that is because he's more inscrutable than the other leads and therefore more difficult to write well. It's good to know I hit the mark.
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